I wasn't here....

Perfect remedy - so what? :D , I m here now! But I'd still like to tell what exactly i mean by 'I wasn't there'.Being simple and short , this being the only passive in whole post! alright , enough juggling :D . From the starting of my teens started the detouring of my self-esteem. In the context that i started feeling intimidated by my peers. I 'd just be afraid all the 'best' I'd see all around. Worse yet i 'd not be encouraged to do something about it on my own , but I'd facsimile , what those people did , that i thought were the best. "Some persons " I 'd be told "are born geniuses" . I 'd deny deny and deny "How could that be? , that would be so unfair!" . The real arguments and counterarguments being away from me , i simply used to use my reason-'of this being unfair' , to support my introversion , and the sense of fear , i felt. I was amazed when i pondered over this , few moments ago , and realized what this has developed into. It has developed in to me turning in to a charlatan. Such quack that when did i actually start to boast about those things that i didn't do , i never got to know! Only now , there is a vague sense of the time when it  might have commenced. I wrote my first poem , on the wake of having given a home work in 9th standard. I still revere and adore the teacher that initiated me into writing. People liked the poem , but the first thing i was asked by my english teacher - " It is too good to have been written for the first time , did u use dictionary?". I was so inundated by the attention i was getting , that i lied happily , not recognizing the sarcasm behind the question. And from then on there was always a curtain of inadvertent blatancy. While chatting casually with acquaintances , on being asked( passive voice is very expressive here , bear with the inconsistency with my promise)."what up?" , i 'd make up a thing just slightly heard , appear as if i was an expert. Then one day on being asked by my massi , if i could design logo for her fashion firm , i complied , rather vigorously. Fact was i had no , know how of any photo editing software. I downloaded www.lynda.com's Photoshop CS6 Essential Training , but didn't see long enough to retain , neither practiced that would have helped retaining new things. 3 months passed and i kept procrastinating , giving excuses. Lastly i had an idea. SInce my Sankalpa was obviously not strong , i made a friend of mine do the job , and at last he would be proud calling himself a freelancer. I , being the middle man. I didn't meet my Chachu living in san fransisco on the assumption that i won't have anything to talk about ,as his lifestyle would be very different. I'm literally laughing out loud at such things now :D . The only thing i can boast about ( but shouldn't because i m an amateur , after all) , is my writing. In retrospect , if one'd interview every single person who know me , you'd get up bunch of people in different groups , telling different things about me. Some would say i have great potential which i wont deny. Some would say he feigns too much , i would acquiesce for it is true at times. Some would say , he is independent and can do anything. You could wonder what is that thing that separates the 'few moments back' time with rest of the time. Well i talked to Alisha Di today. I had told her i was a web design enthusiast , and that i know very many things. i was dumbfounded when she asked to solve a scripting problem OVFABI was in . I had to tell her the truth , that i know lil HTML and CSS , and had just started learning javascript. Her innocence summoned me to surrender the pretension of showing off with a knowledge she shared a few minutes after-

Five Types of Restlessness

There are five types of restlessness.

The first type of restlessness is due to the place you are in. When you move away from that place, the street or the house, you immediately feel better. Chanting, singing, children playing and laughing can change this atmospheric restlessness. If you chant and sing, the vibration in the place changes.

The second type of restlessness is in the body. Eating the wrong food or vata aggravating food, eating at odd times, not exercising, and overworking can all cause a physical restlessness. The remedy for this is exercise, moderation in work habits and going on a vegetable or juice diet for one or two days.

The third type of restlessness is mental restlessness. It is caused by ambition, strong thoughts, likes or dislikes. Knowledge alone can cure this restlessness. Seeing life from a broader perspective, knowledge about the Self and the impermanence of everything. If you achieve everything, so what? After your achievement, you will die. Knowledge of your death or life, confidence in the Self, in the Divine, can all calm down the mental restlessness.

Then there is emotional restlessness. Any amount of knowledge does not help here. Only Kriya helps! All that emotional restlessness vanishes. Also the presence of the master, a wise person, or a saint will help to calm your emotional restlessness.

The fifth type of restlessness is rare. It is the restlessness of the soul. When everything feels empty and meaningless, know you are very fortunate. That longing and restlessness is the restlessness of the soul. Do not try to get rid of it. Embrace it! Welcome it! Usually to get rid of it people do all sorts of things - they change places, jobs or partners, do this, do that. It seems to help for some time, but it does not last.

This restlessness of the soul alone can bring authentic prayer in you. It brings perfection, Siddhis and miracles in life. It is so precious to get that inner most longing for the Divine. Satsang, the presence of the enlightened one, soothes the restlessness of the soul. - Sri Sri

And i can only be grateful to the grace the flows through untold means to untold distances....

That night... and more..

Apoorve sir explained something so eloquently yesterday , that i felt my everything at ease at he was just spreading already existing wisdom , yet people are unaware of it . We , have taken vow to learn , practice , teach and then 'teach to teach' which is going to get officially palpable on 24th of march! In these days , in which i traveled extensively hitherto, i experienced the reason my master asked us to take a personal goal , and an aim for the benefit of society. they both go hand in hand. Spirituality and materialism go hand in hand . We experience spirituality and we need materialism to express them,. We feel something , we need emotions to express them. That space , from where our thoughts come has characteristic something like this... We 'try' to eradicate darkness by pouring darkness in bucket and throwing it away , unaware that it's(darkness's) value isn't going down , but is infact same! , When we meditate we just observe that calm space , where there's just silence , no thoughts come up. An enlightened master is one who masters this space to remain calm in silence and light up the darkness to eliminate the same!

observations

              All this time – me , trying hard to do something I even didn’t know… , well I guess many many things.But I ‘m indeed getting the realization , that there’s just much more than these startling go hows about how always make the best out of this materialistic world. There’s a higher power , I feel the presence every day , these days a thing’s happening , that has been talked about very much in front of me , you know- in the sharing of experiences , but I never had them in my pocket , until now. Whatever I ‘m wishing the things to happen , they are working out the exact same way. I didn’t really know that but when  when lord Buddha sat meditating , life forms in the area of radius 20 kms stopped fighting! ,  I was astonished! , so powerful aura! It is known to me now , that feelings  change very dramatically , like the corollary of heisenberg’s  uncertainty principle which states that energy keeps changing even in vacum at a rate that can be unfathomably fast. What all remains and unshaken is ‘is’ , being , that ‘is’ . Having said that I get to know more and more clearly that clearly, leaping into the mediation is human’s very true nature. This I got to know when I skipped of  a meal at night half-heartedly  to do kriya, only to find that my heart and my stomach , both have had a full time meal! So dear friends are getting in life, I want it to never end, because I find -it’s the true nature!  Everything exists in the vibrational modes – this is a damn sure intuition that superstring theory’s gonna work out , no matter what , And that everything exists in cycles. That marks every opposite thing in this universe being complementary. One has no perception without the other. People don’t change because you are heading on hard to make them change. It’s just that you have to observe the change , like the protagonist of prince of Persia. The moment he found himself observing himself , after triggering the dragger’s button , he was astounded , he was in a situation full of wow! That’s all is needed , infact that is all there is! Just the happenstance of you just observing anything’s that ‘s bothering you , or making you happy makes something come out from the other unknown dimension , and takes you all away with it! It’s not an escape route, it’s our very hidden nature!

Ground experience

Today , it was an opulent evening-guruji's voice wafting in the air . I need to tell all that the word 'waft' is one of my favorites , because, 1st it was brought to my notice via jitesh bhaiya's blog , and second it is the event happening prior to guruji's saccharine  sound in the ears- " let go all your efforts...". Prior to the starting of organising yes+! from 30th January  , we were practicing in the 'Talk Session' , after which i had realizations.. , a thing that wasn't able to pop up... It was an incredible experience. Reminiscence as i got , caught up jitesh bhaiya's mind.. and after sudarshan kriya , told us how NIT HAMIRPUR YES+! graduates has increased from 2( he and patro sir, in their first year, both r in final semester now). He was then inundated by the happiness that was in that room... all of the sincere seekers had shown up- the first year- recent graduates...his eyes surrendered to happiness of water , for like , 3-4 seconds.. and he blazed-" do u all know , this would be the biggest thing u'd do for others....so from now till completion of course , khate , peete , sote.. yes+!" By the way do u know it is scientifically proven that ... water molecules or ice crystals expand and contract according to the mood of the person beside..? So what do i got here? that 3 second water shower in his eyes was 'Gangajal' poured by guruji himself.. By the way i m going to IIT delhi to play my first ever basketball tournaments , so? my commitment is stronger than before..  I ll make up as many minds as i wish to... , because they are taken care of , and now it's their time ti 'realize' it ... , Couldn't go to group kriya today but after playing basketball , whole ground and it's wet wetty grass was seeing my way..! it was amazing! 

Guru Story..1

Mom has had 6 guruji's 'darshan in person' , as she vehemently exclaims . All time she had  been proudly telling everybody , how every single time she got a blessing hand on head , every time she met him; until this time instant in Chandigarh , few days back..Mom says they were not letting them in . All gates were sealed , where Guruji were staying. My Phoophaji , being a volunteer , was in for quite a while. Seeing this , even buaji was furious and called him...to get'em in!! He didn't answer ... and both got excitingly furious! Then this happenstance had to dive in..much to delight of everybody at first , really ,to only few...after. Somebody called for anu to get in(my buaji's name!). As expected, there was an eternal line of ma's named 'anu' . Being in front both my mom and buaji got in a rush! When Guruji were about to leave, mum got out with everybody and hoped to get that quintessential blessing again. To her astounding instant catcher , Guruji stepped ahead without noticing. Just when mom was about to turn... Guruji came back with big smile on his face , as ever, put his hand on mom's head and said -"Jeete raho" . And mom had a sigh of joy!

Dada - The Great..

This is a legacy, this life that continues to move on. Even more , of which is this legacy, is the Art of Living it!, Of which many people holds the credibility to none other than DADA.. and by God's grace , i'm one of them . Dada , as ur date of birth is testimony, u have abundant 'Shiva' factor! U've been doing so much seva . I hold u as my no.1 inspiration to do the same. U're phrases-"think what more can u do to bring more good to this world",and "pain is inevitable , it's ur choice to bear it in agony or to waft it in happiness" , comes to my 'mind' along with all the teaching's i have been taught till , inadvertently. Ur aura , so strong ! I felt myself being in other dimension when i gained 1st blessing from u! I'm not grateful to u , for Guruji says, u r separate then( i 'm nt!) Neither do i thank u , cuz Gurudev says , then there is no oneness, i thank u superficially for all that i ve gained from u , and continue to gain incessantly , i love u by heart. Shivasthe Panthanaha Jai guru dev! C ya soon..

The starting

This is the photograph of a person , unknown to me when i was a kid .Reminiscence as it catches me, once , when i was small , my parents were into some sort of hindu ritual, in which married couple go round around a fire lit , 7 times , again. In complete despair i asked my grandma- "where i'd live when they get married!" . She , at once bursted into laughter , along with the priest and my parents. When that ceremony was over i heard something like 'gurudev' . I thought i overheard from some last chanting , the priest was performing. I realized in an instant it wasn't! . Today i get it! 'twas Jai Guru Dev! , This pic is the one I first cited in my mum's 'An intimate note to the sincere seeker', Volume no. of which has faded. I did Art Excel when i was in 4th grade. Bad on my part i don't remember guru ma's name with which i had an awesome time playing games(that was all i could think of then!). Yeah i regularly did Kriya for some time , then didn't.., But meanwhile i enjoyed going to my pa's friend's house for Satsang every sunday evening , where i figured out i could sing pretty well. After that knowledge i had a routine of learning a new bhajan every week and sing it with all those melodious instruments around. Same time around , during winters , we went Rishikesh from Solan , backing up Guruji's scorpio. Having had his blessings in person(cuz even without him being in person , his presence is all around us , every jgd knows that!), me and my sis sighted guru ma and shocked her up in surprise to tough her feet with hand's crossed( as we were taught) , when she smiled all we could do was grin , and nod in yes to all the thing's she'd ask ; till our parents came to wish her. I 'm still able to 'see' that crowd , all smiling faces, listening to Guruji with 100% nods on his asking them-" are u all with me , listening to me?" and then continuing along with time. After 2 yrs i stopped doing kriya , cuz of no apt influence in home , Pa did his sudarshan kriya , when? even ma couldn't tell ,but he did. Ma did regularly in the evening , but all that she kept complaining about, i didn't see any improvement in her, till i got, it was it which kept her loving everybody, still she restricts and grudges about many things , but her love for others , her deeds overpasses all. Here, right now , m listening to frederic buchet , thanking guruji for bringing that Jgd presence in every nook and corner of my house , my home again...m not grateful , cuz sri sri says if u r grateful u don't belong to me, i thank him superficially , i love him by heart..